Monday, December 20, 2010

Merry Christmas

As I mentioned yesterday over at Dalrock's, this blog is only mostly dead. I do want to add more content, and I think I will now have some more time.

I've been thinking a bit more about this blog, and I'll be updating this post with more thoughts.

Grace builds upon nature. This blog is attempting to examine the nature part of human attraction, and to reconcile it with Grace, to make way for Grace. How do we act to get to a place where Grace can act?

I'm seeking to understand and explain how Game can do that.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Advice for the young woman from Dalrock

Dalrock has a great post up advising young woman on how to find a great guy. While I think ultimately, it's up to Providence, it does seem like a woman can improve her odds. Here's Dalrock:

"For women looking for a husband my advice is simple. Picture the kind of man you want to be attracted to. Picture him in the prime of his power. If you are a young woman who wants to marry a man more your own age, now picture that prime of his power man as he would have been at a younger age. A little less confident and powerful, but with real ability and a basic goodness about him. Now picture the kind of setting the younger version would be most comfortable and dominant in. That setting is where you should look for your husband, and the only kind of setting where you should position yourself to compare different kinds of men."

I'd say that guy is likely to be a lot less confident, not just a little, but asking women to give up confidence is like asking a man to give up on hotness. It's not gonna happen.

I would also encourage women to be a little more open-minded during the initial meeting phase. So you're not crazy about the guy. Get to know him. God might surprise you. Let Him. I'm not suggesting you marry a guy you're not in love with, but I am suggesting you go out on a few dates with him. It's just a damn date. Now I realize this isn't the easiest advice to hear after you've read all the harshness in the manosphere. But it is offered in hope of your happiness.

I hear what you're saying. "Never. Never in a million years." Ok, maybe so. Probably so. But you might be surprised how fast a million years go by. Sometimes it's less than 60 months. And for most guys, once you give them the heave ho, they're not coming back. Ever. Which is usually great. But when it's not great, life is unlikely to be like a romantic comedy, where the guy perseveres through all your ridiculous bullshit to win you over. Yeah, it occasionally happens. But not usually.

Good luck.

"Like bonobos, Irishmen love nothing more than displaying their glorious natural pelt."

Sometimes, I'm going to post random shit from SDaedalus. You've been warned.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

This is like something from The Royal Tanenbaums

This is like something Wes Anderson would write. "Yes, the gentleman in the blue cardigan." "I have a two-part question." "Go ahead."

Todd Seavey and Helen Rittelmeyer. You crazy kids.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

In sickness and in health

I just came across this story from 2006 through Roosh's Twitter Feed:  Katie Kirkpatrick, 21, had terminal cancer, but it didn't stop her and her fiance, Nick Godwin, 23, from getting married.  She died five days after the wedding.  R.I.P.

These photos were taken by Romain Blanquart of the Detroit Free Press.  Amazing story.  More pictures and story here.

Thank God for your life every day by living for His Glory.

(No, I fail at this just like everyone else.)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Confessions of a modern Irish bachelor

No, not me.  This guy.

Hat tip to SDaedalus.

This was a tough, but funny article to read.  I could relate, up until the geigh part.  Young guys, don't wind up like this.  Take care of business now, even if it involves painful growth and risk.  I don't know why I added "even if."  It definitely WILL involve painful growth and risk.  But the payoff is huge.  That payoff is life.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Where to start - Alpha body language

Chateau writes on the Alpha body language that attracts women.

I can't stress how important body language is.  For the beginner, it should be the second major area of study, after inner game.  This is easy to learn stuff that's highly effective.  You'll get infinitely better results, even if only by converting to some inner game and behaving with alpha language.  It's much more important that all the canned game routines and negs.  And no, I'm not suggesting you ignore that stuff.  Just take care of inner game and body language first.

After a quick search on body language.  I came across this book, Love Signals by David Givens:

Looks good.  Anyone read it?

I also found this list of six powerful body language secrets by a Toronto dating coach.

I'll be posting more on alpha body language as I come across it.

Which bachelor are you?

Interesting. SDaedalus has a great taxonomy here.

Which bachelor are you?

Monday, October 4, 2010

New Posts Coming

As I said earlier, I'm busy.  But the good news is that I'll have some posts coming soon with some orthodox Catholic exegesis of The Mystery Method, Bang, and Rules of the Game.  Check back in a week for the first post.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Confidence for the young unaccomplished man

Been busy.  Still busy.  I'm posting when I can. (Update: I made the title of this post shorter)

Commenters Badger Nation and Esau at HUS nail it.  First, Badger Nation:

"Saj, Your comment buys into some classic pretty lies – gamers are predators, only damaged girls dig jerks,  and “JBY.” Unfortunately it is empirically disproved. Sadly, women dig jerks (not all but enough to make it a viable strategy). The ‘dark triad’ works. Most betas who pick up game want to be loved by women, few are avenging narcissists (if they were they’d probably be successful with women in the first place). “Being yourself” (re-titled as “comfortable in your own skin”) doesn’t work unless “yourself” is attractive.
And we get the old “just wait it out until the girls get older and want providers!” The real problem with that is that it tells men to yoke themselves to the changing desires of women instead of being in charge of their own love lives. It’s wacked – a big chunk of men should not have to wait until ten years past puberty to have a shadow of a shot at a decent experience with a woman."

Later in the thread, Esau:

"Saj’s patent nonsense has already been addressed fairly well by Badger Nation, but I think less politeness is called for:
rather then learning to like himself and feel confident in who he is as a person despite past success with women.”
Yeah, and next he’ll run a marathon before breakfast and then solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded just for fun.  Saj, does it occur to you what you suggest is logically impossible for a young man who is (1) honest with himself and not a self-absorbed narcissist; (2) without significant life achievements yet; (3) as yet unsuccessful with women and yet still horny as all-get-out?  For an honest person, confidence proceeds from the evidence of experience; if you don’t have the latter, you can’t get the former without some kind of fakery.  Period."

So, to rephrase Esau's question, why and how should you, an honest self-aware young man of no accomplishment, be confident?

Because one day, and sooner than you expect, your existence and your love and your desire are going to mean everything in the world to a girl.  It's going to be the difference between her joy and her ongoing dreary frustration.  Everything great about you, your character, your kindness, your virtue -- you name it -- it will all mean the world to a girl.

THAT is WHY you should be confident when you approach a girl, even if you haven't finished growing, if you haven't filled out, if your skin is still a mess, if you're still a poor student dependent on your parents, if you don't have everything figured out yet, if you don't know what you want to do yet, if you don't know yet what your talents are, if you don't yet know how you will make a living, if you compare poorly to some asshole.  If you're completely invisible to her.

You will get better, in so many different ways.  Without a doubt.  KNOWING THAT is HOW you can be confident.  She's not going to know it.  It's all in your head.  But that's the only place it needs to be to change your outlook, your frame on the world.  You don't have to explain it to her.  In fact, it's almost always counterproductive to do so.  Just know it and say it to her with your eyes and body language, boldly and without apology, with subtle strength.  She'll be put off balance, which is exactly where she wants to be.  She'll wonder.  Then you act. Approach.

If it works, you're in, my friend.  If not? Disappointing, to be sure.  But do you have any idea how many beautiful, wonderful women you will meet in your life?  Tons.  I'm telling you now, it'll be more than you can imagine.  Just keep your frame strong, focusing on the above.  Then act.  Over and over and over and over.  And again.  And again.  And again and again.  It gets easier every time. And one day, sooner than you think, you'll hit the jackpot, and be the happiest guy alive.  Happened to me.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Virginity link roundup

It's late, I'm tired and I don't have much time to post.

Athol Kay discusses virginity here.

The Man Who Was Thursday discusses virginity here.  I agree with Thursday that most Church girls I've encountered (those who attend Church regularly and take their faith lives seriously) are virgins or have pretty low numbers.  This is also confirmed from conversations with the wives of married buddies about Church girls generally.  Robin Hanson has similar data here.  These women who have held out, perfectly or imperfectly, deserve commendation and honor and respect for not jumping on the cock carousel when it would be easy to do so.  Most would make good wives, although they need, like just about all of us, some improvement.

Roissy discusses virginity and marriage here.

This is not virginity related, but it's a fascinating 2005 story about when men are ready to marry.  I'll try to do a longer post on this later.

In Mala Fide has a sad post here.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Missed Indicators of Interest (IoI)

Via Aunt Haley, we hear a tale of missed Indicators of Interest at Modern Savage. (which is a great blog that had gone inactive.  Matt, glad you're back.)  

The analysis by Aunt Haley:

"The reason women tend to be roundabout in the ways they advertise interest, though, is that they want men to pursue them.  If a woman has to spell it out for the man, then she doesn’t feel like she is being pursued; she feels like she is the pursuer.  She will also feel like her feminine charms alone are not enough to incite action by the man, which is humiliating.  Worse, if you do end up going on a date, she will doubt your attraction to her, so expect more shit tests.  In addition, by being very straightforward, she will risk being labeled desperate and try-hard by other women and possibly other men, too. ...

As a result, the only option a woman has is to drop hints and hope the man responds.  If a woman suggests that you should do something together or hang out sometime, you’ve hit the motherlode.  She will not suggest hanging out to a man she has no interest in.  If she says something sounds like fun, that’s also an invitation to invite her to join in.  If she asks when the next time you’re doing X activity is, she wants you to invite her to go along.  If she asks if you need help with something, that’s also an opportunity.  If she eagerly expresses interest in something you’ve just expressed interest in (as in Savage’s anecdote above), you can make a move with confidence.

Given all of the above, when a man doesn’t act on a woman’s hints, the woman usually concludes that the man is not interested in her and has a list of 99 things he’d rather be doing.  Men complain that women want them to shoulder all of the risk, but for a woman, showing interest and dropping hints IS a risk."

Commenter Will S. nails it:

"I don’t entirely agree that a guy must needs be a “player” or even a “would-be” player, in order to be able to pick up IOIs, but I do agree that the Church has somehow, likely through older brothers not sharing enough with teenage and young adult brothers about female nature, created a lot of young men today who are socially clueless when it comes to interacting with young women. For whatever reason, it seems that each preceding generation of men has tended to leave it mostly up to the following generation to figure it all out for themselves, on their own. Certainly, I never had guidance in these matters from anyone in any church circles I’ve been in."

Part of the problem with your average church-going guy's ability to read women is that he has dramatically less experience compared to players.  The church-going guy is more discerning, trying to figure out which girl would make a good wife for him. 

The player is out there trying to sport fuck whichever girl he can.  Therefore, he's approaching a higher number of girls.  A higher number by a factor of ten.  And every time he approaches, he learns something about women, even the times he fails.  Maybe especially the times he fails.  So the player's data set is much larger than Johnny Pew.  So when Johnny Pew approaches a girl, from that girl's perspective, he's going to look like a clumsy bumblefuck compared to the smooth players who've approached her earlier.  It's not that those players were necessarily inherently smoother, they've just macked enough girls to have worked out most of their errors.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Dalrock writes on the curse of female power

Great stuff, here.

Good news, ladies!

Study shows that fatter men last longer in bed.

"Their findings: Men with excess body fat last longer in bed. In fact, heavier men were able to make love for an average of 7.3 minutes, while slender men could count themselves lucky if they held on for a mere 108 seconds."

7.3 MINUTES?!?!  What kind of superhuman freaks took part in this study??

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Augustine's Advice #1 - Learn to dance

In homage to Grerp, I'm now giving numbered advice.

Guys, one of the easiest things you can do to set yourselves apart from other guys is to learn to dance.  And I don't mean just booty dancing.  Even if you can grind with the best of them (and I certainly can), the way to set yourself apart is by learning a fun, structured, civilized dance such as salsa dancing or swing dancing.  You'd be shocked at how easy salsa is to learn.  Start with the basics and gradually move up. There's gotta be a cheap place near you where this is going on or lessons are going on.  If not, find some youtube clips. (Readers, if you know of any, please post them in the comments.)

Women LOVE to be lead in dance.  They love to be spun.  They love to be moved around.  Dancing allows you to show confidence and dominance and grace.  Plus it's kino escalation. Git r done.

Stop procrastinating and learn.  Then, don't be afraid to bust it out at house parties or bars. You'll crush all before you.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Memento Mori

Always good advice.

Roissy comments on a study showing that "Chicks who were reminded of their mortality were more attracted to soft, less masculine herb faces, and this preference was most pronounced for women at the peak of their fertility cycle....

"In short, women who thought about their own death suddenly found feminized beta providers a lot more attractive than masculine alpha cads. This preference was largest for ovulating women, who normally show the exact opposite preference when times are good and death is a faraway abstraction."

Men, life is short.  It doesn't hurt to adroitly remind women of that.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Great Alphas and Betas on Film - The New World

Today's Great Alphas and Betas on Film is The New World, by the genius Terrence Malick.  It about Jamestown, Virginia in 1607 and stars Colin Farrell as Captain John Smith, Q'orianka Kilchner as Pocahontas, and Christian Bale as John Rolfe.  Spoilers after the jump.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Augustine's Maxims

In homage to the man, Roissy, who styles himself as the Dark Lord, I present my own maxims.  These aren't presented in weighted order.  That is, they're presented as they occur to me, not in order of importance.

Augustine's Maxim #1.  The presence of those who should be married and off the market has a distorting effect on the Sexual Market Place.

First, let me say that I hate referring to the Sexual Market Place as a Sexual Market Place because human beings are not commodities and humans are not for sale.  That said, I get how the same impersonal forces (i.e., supply, demand, risk, reward, scarcity, premium, etc.) are often at work and so referring to it as the SMP makes a convenient shorthand.

(more later)

Update: Reformed Tomboy asks in the comment (thanks, RT), what I meant by "should be married."  Put aside the word "should" for a moment, which implies a judgment. I'm interested in examining this objectively.

What I mean is, imagine some of the cumulative effects of delayed marriage on society as a whole, and on how individuals experience it, and how that's changed since our grandparents' times.

Imagine a man and a woman graduate college in 2000 at 22 and start their lives in an urban/suburban environment.  In our grandparents' era, a couple of 22 year olds getting married would be pretty unremarkable, if not the norm.  But these two don't get married, not to each other or to anyone else.  Ten years later in 2010, they're each still looking, perhaps for a soul mate, or perhaps for just a better deal.

Now, imagine another man and woman graduating college in 2010 at 22 and starting their lives in the same urban/suburban environment.  The idea of two 22 year olds getting married in 2010 seems even more remote than it did in 2000.

So now these four, and thousands of others who would, in another time, have been married and off the market, are all looking for love and marriage in the same environment.  How do they experience this search?  Well, men seek what they seek, and women seek what they seek.  Do we even need to review these generalities?  In short, men are attracted to beauty and youth, and women are attracted to tall, confident, dominant men.

So the 22 year old woman (other qualities being equal), is in a relatively stronger position than the 32 year old woman.  As the population of unmarried women increases, those on the younger end of the spectrum have a relatively higher rank.

But the 22 year old man has the opposite problem.  The typical 22 year old man is not as accomplished or experienced as the 32 year old man, and therefore doesn't have the confidence or the resources that the 32 year old man has acquired.

So as men pursue the male agenda, and as women pursue the female agenda, and the population of unmarried people seeking love and marriage grows and grows, the illusion  of infinite choice arises.  The girls graduate from college, move to the city, and are pleased at how many men are out there, at least compared to where they came from.  The men in the city begin to look forward to graduation, when new graduates arrive every year.

Corollary to Maxim #1: And so the average man pays the price on the front end, and the average woman pays the price on the back end.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Always listen to Grerp - Piece of Advice #23 Debt Equals Slavery

The New York Times Your Money Column examines How Debt Can Destroy a Budding Relationship:

""Nobody likes unpleasant surprises, but when Allison Brooke Eastman’s fiancé found out four months ago just how high her student loan debt was, he had a particularly strong reaction: he broke off the engagement within three days. ...

But as the couple got closer to their wedding day, she took out all the paperwork and it became clear that her total debt was actually about $170,000. “He accused me of lying,” said Ms. Eastman, 31, a San Francisco X-ray technician and part-time photographer who had run up much of the balance studying for a bachelor’s degree in photography. “But if I was lying, I was lying to myself, not to him. I didn’t really want to know the full amount.” ...

“But it had never occurred to me that this is something that might end up being a deal-breaker." [ADC: my emphasis]

For the marriage minded, both men and women, this is a real concern.  Yeah, I know, True Love Conquers All, blah, blah, blah.  But this is a huge issue.  There is no situation as a man or a woman where having more debt makes you more attractive.  None.  It can only work against you.  Remember, as the lovely Grerp said, "Debt equals slavery."

Now, I'm not saying never go into debt.  Just don't do it lightly.  Make sure that the reason you're acquiring debt makes sense.  Scrutinize the numbers before you make a decision. And, no, I'm not perfect either.  This is tough to do.  But going forward, this is the only way to live.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday this and that

Sister Haley takes a crack at Roissy's post on Values Compatibility And Sexual Attraction.  Her take:

"He’s not wrong – if all you’re going for is attraction for a hook-up, fling, or short-term relationship.  Even for a long-term relationship, differences of ideology and principles may not be enough to disrupt attraction.

Most people, however, will balk when it comes to marriage to someone with significantly different values.  Roissy, as someone who professes never to marry, will never face these concerns.  But most people do marry, and differences of values will almost certainly come into play for evaluating someone’s spousal potential.  And this is wise and prudent, because marriage is the mingling of two lives into one, a voluntary relinquishment of freedom and personal choice.  When you enter into an arrangement where (typically) finances are joined, families are joined, children are begotten, and your entire future has the other person tethered to it, differences start to matter very much."


"Compatibility of values is especially important when it comes to having children.  Most people marry in anticipation of having a family, and some marry because their little bundle of joy is already on the way.  This is where the values rubber really starts to meet the practice road.  How are you going to raise your child?  ... Will you take your kids to church?  To which church?  What traditions will you celebrate?  What will you teach your children about life?  About other people?  About him- or herself?"

My take?  Well, my Mom, Monica was a saint and my dad was a pagan.  It was rough, but it all worked out in the end.  Was it a successful marriage?  I dunno.  I'd say so.  I'm here.  Look, it's not ideal and I'm not an advocate for it.  Especially today, when there are zero societal supports to couples to help make marriage work.  But it's not automatically doomed. (Ringing endorsement, huh?)

But overall, Roissy and Haley are both right.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Great Alphas and Betas on Film - Magnolia

Today, I'm starting a series focusing on examples of Alphas and Betas on film.

We start, of course, with The Greatest Judeo-Christian Film Ever Made.  That's right.  Magnolia, by the genius, Paul Thomas Anderson.

Discussion and spoilers after the break.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Looking forward to this, whatever it is

Athol Kay mentions something in his latest post:

"Maybe I'm simplifying things a little much, but everyone needs a class in Game before they marry. I. Shall. Fix. This."

What's up Athol? Referring to your book?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Game is going mainstream

Sorry for the lack of posts.  More coming next week.

How about Roissy getting all the Insta-love?  Game is getting out, my friends.

And Kruaser?  Buddy, we added ya to the blogroll way before your Roissy love.

Friday, July 23, 2010

"Even Christian girls want men to put the moves on them."

Guys, we humans are incarnated beings. We as men have to interact with women in our fullest senses, not as pure spiritual beings who are nothing but intellects. Don't believe me? Here's a great post by a new blogger I just found. Welcome Aunt Haley of Haley's Halo:

"Even Christian girls want men to put the moves on them."

"I am not advocating that men pressure women for sex, or refuse to take no or other signs of disinterest/discomfort for an answer. But even a Christian woman wants to know that the man she is dating has some sexual interest in her. This is not easy to determine if the man refuses to touch her in any way* or basically acts like there is a 3-foot virginity forcefield surrounding her that will not allow him to get any closer. (*Sidehugs excluded.) If this goes on for long enough, the woman will seriously start to question why the man is even dating her.

The other reason a man should not act like he will become electrocuted should he touch the woman he is dating is that it’s a DLV. It makes the man seem deferential and complacent – maybe even fearful – without even having tested the waters. This is a big tingle-killer. If a man tries to put his hand on the woman’s waist and she pulls away, and he doesn’t try again for the rest of the night, a woman will respect him more than if he never tried at all."

Amen I say to you, in the immortal words of Trent (the character, not the Council), "There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you're money and that you want to party."

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Describing Game for Marriage

I wish I had more time and energy to write this post.  In the meantime, I'll link and paste.  The post is well worth reading in its entirety.

Love in the Age of the Pickup Artist: Stendhal Among the Seducers.   By S.G. Belknap

I haven't read any of the referenced source material.  Please chime in on the comments, especially if you have read it.

Hat tips to Tyler Cowen and Susan Walsh:

"Even if the pickup artists have developed the craft of seduction to a degree of refinement not yet seen under the sun, they still cannot claim the erotic arts for themselves. The pleasure and duty of restraint belong just as much to love as they do to mere seduction. And so the proper antidote to the poison of the pickup artists is not a staid, predictable courtship absent of vitality, followed by an equally staid and predictable relationship. The antidote is rather to have the best of both worlds, love and eroticism. In an important sense, “the game” belongs to the lover much more even than it belongs to the pickup artists, because with the lover the game is redeemed and heightened. The lover’s eroticism is always subject to a greater end, an end greater than himself: it is flirtation in the service of commitment, complication in the service of sincerity, playfulness in the service of seriousness.

But remember that love cannot simply be the seduction of someone who happens to be the lover’s beloved: that path leads to paradox and despair, as Julien Sorel was kind enough to show us. Julien’s crucial error was to separate his love from his “technique,” to use eroticism like a tool for the attainment of some unrelated end. And he paid the price: crying in his arms, Mathilde was in love with someone, to be sure—but it wasn’t really Julien. There is only one way out. The lover must combine his passion and his restraint, as much as possible, in the very same moment. In other words, it is not enough that playfulness be taken up in the service of seriousness; the seriousness must always be present alongside the playfulness, bound up with it in a constant synthesis. This means that the lover will have to show his hand every once in a while, even if he is quick to hide it again. And this also means that love will always bring with it some portion of terror. Because his heart is at stake, the lover will feel the terror of losing the beloved, even in the moment she gives herself to him. This is the terror the seducer believes he has bypassed. Maybe he has—but in doing so the chance for love has slipped through his fingers. Because he does not sow, he cannot reap. There is no way around this."

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Women are conditioned to believe that better men are always around the corner

I have a theory that women are conditioned to believe that better men are always around the corner.  They believe this because for most of their lives, it's been true.  It starts with girls and boys, when girls hit puberty before boys.  They grow and are usually taller than their male classmates for a year or two.  I think this codes into their brains that their male peers are inadequate.  By 6th grade they're thinking about junior high boys.  In junior high, they're thinking about high school boys.  In high school, they're thinking about college guys.  In college, they're thinking about guys in graduate school. In grad school, they're thinking about the men in the exciting cities they'll be moving to after they graduate.

Notice a trend?

At every step of the way in adulthood, the men who will be coming into a woman's life are more attractive than her existing male peers.  Thus, she has an incentive to not "settle" for a guy she already knows.  It's not a ridiculous strategy.  Each woman only has to land one attractive man.  By the time an attractive woman is in her mid-20s, she's used to getting male attention.

If you're a decent Christian young guy who's having zero luck with the ladies, I'd encourage you to be aware of their mindset so you know what you're up against.

Grow.  Be a Man.  Today.  Study game and practice it in your own life while remaining faithful to God.

The women in your life today are not the only attractive women you'll ever meet.  New ones come along all the time.  All. the. time.  And once you start living game, you'll be surprised at how well you do with them.  Even the ones who passed on you because they believed you to be inadequate will notice the change.  If you care.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Every Man can be Tall, Dark, and Handsome

My buddy, Oscar, came up with this idea.  Tall means being confident.  Dark means being mysterious (i.e. keep her guessing about you, stop self-disclosing, let her wonder).  Handsome means doing the best with what you've been given (i.e., personal hygiene, physical fitness, and at least a minimal attempt at manly dressing).

Try it.  Tell us how it works out.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Why Augustine DeCarthage?

Well, before he was St. Augustine, Doctor of the Church

before he was Bishop of Hippo Regius

before all that, he lived in Carthage.

And he loved the ladies.

No, that's not really a fresco of Augustine. 

Augustine is a great example of how a flawed, sinful human being can become a follower of Christ and a devoted servant of God.  But as I write this blog, I'm more in Carthage mode than Hippo mode.

READ THIS FIRST - Don't bother looking for the Nihil obstat

A Nihil obstat is an "attestation by a church censor that a book contains nothing damaging to faith or morals."

I obviously haven't applied for one and won't be doing so for this blog.  I hope nothing here is damaging to faith or morals, but I'm not so sure.  I advise you to get your spiritual life in order before you begin this journey.  Go to confession.  Get to Mass every week and receive the Eucharist while in a state of grace.  Develop your prayer life.  Maybe even get a spiritual director.  Grow close to God, to God the Father, to Christ His Son, to the Holy Spirit.  Do this before you start reading this blog and especially before you read the other blogs I'll link to, even if it takes you a few months.  This blog will still be here.

I say all this - and I'm serious -  because you'll run into some darkness in game. Sin. Evil. Ugliness.  Pain.  Men get hurt.  Women get hurt.  Even Pick Up Artists get burned out on this stuff.

So why do this?  Because, in moderation and prudence, it works.

What is Game for Marriage?

If you're reading this blog, you probably found it from a Game blog.  Therefore, I'm going to assume you have a basic understanding of PUA Game theory and its concepts and terms.

Pick Up Artists developed Game theory to increase their attractiveness to women for the purpose of sport fucking.  Game works.  Women respond to game.  And not just the skanks.  Women are attracted to dominant men, to strong men.  Women are not attracted to virtuous men because they perceive virtue as weakness.  This is true even of devoutly Christian women.  Christian women are humans, and like all humans are flawed and sinful. While everyone has a pretty good understanding of how sin affects men (e.g., we're all horndogs, we'll hit anything, we're promiscuous and unfaithful, etc.), I don't think we have a very good understanding of how sin affects women sexually.

All this presents a conundrum for the Christian man. If he approaches a Christian woman honorably and respectfully, he'll be blown out because she'll perceive him as a supplicating, low-testosterone eunuch.  It's hard to discern a vocation to marriage and whether she's the one if a guy can't get past a first approach.  If he's not immediately blown out, he'll be put in the Let's Just Be Friends category and will remain an Average Frustrated Chump (AFC).

This blog is intended to teach Christian men how to apply the principles of Game in their dealings with women in an ethical and moral way.  I realize we're trying to square the circle here, but I believe Game has some useful tools that a Christian man can use.  I hope this will become a conversation, and I welcome feedback from men and women, Christian and non-Christian.

This is not a Men's Rights blog or a Men Going Their Own Way blog.  I've read a lot of that material, and while there's a lot of merit in their critiques of marriage and marriage/divorce/family law, this blog is not the forum for that.  It's fine to mention it briefly, but don't hijack comment threads.  Take it elsewhere.  This blog is intended to help Christian men who are seeking Christian women for the covenant and sacrament of marriage.