Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday this and that

Sister Haley takes a crack at Roissy's post on Values Compatibility And Sexual Attraction.  Her take:

"He’s not wrong – if all you’re going for is attraction for a hook-up, fling, or short-term relationship.  Even for a long-term relationship, differences of ideology and principles may not be enough to disrupt attraction.

Most people, however, will balk when it comes to marriage to someone with significantly different values.  Roissy, as someone who professes never to marry, will never face these concerns.  But most people do marry, and differences of values will almost certainly come into play for evaluating someone’s spousal potential.  And this is wise and prudent, because marriage is the mingling of two lives into one, a voluntary relinquishment of freedom and personal choice.  When you enter into an arrangement where (typically) finances are joined, families are joined, children are begotten, and your entire future has the other person tethered to it, differences start to matter very much."


"Compatibility of values is especially important when it comes to having children.  Most people marry in anticipation of having a family, and some marry because their little bundle of joy is already on the way.  This is where the values rubber really starts to meet the practice road.  How are you going to raise your child?  ... Will you take your kids to church?  To which church?  What traditions will you celebrate?  What will you teach your children about life?  About other people?  About him- or herself?"

My take?  Well, my Mom, Monica was a saint and my dad was a pagan.  It was rough, but it all worked out in the end.  Was it a successful marriage?  I dunno.  I'd say so.  I'm here.  Look, it's not ideal and I'm not an advocate for it.  Especially today, when there are zero societal supports to couples to help make marriage work.  But it's not automatically doomed. (Ringing endorsement, huh?)

But overall, Roissy and Haley are both right.

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