Sunday, January 23, 2011

Alte on male chastity


For the Christian man, there are no easy answers on this issue. Ultimately, I think the sacramental grace of marriage is the most effective remedy.

This is the comment I left at Alte's:


I agree that delayed marriage is a huge factor. The sad truth of the human condition is, there’s almost no way most men can faithfully live out this teaching. Even a man who believes this, if he is healthy, is going to usually wake up every morning with a throbbing boner. Spiritually, that’s a tough way to start every day.

If a man tries to live out the Church’s teaching, especially during The Long Drought of the years when he is a young man and not yet considered marriage material, he’s going to suffer and fail, repeatedly.

The biggest answers to this problem are the sacraments: frequent confessions, Communion, and as soon as Providence provides, marriage.

But an additional answer is that men, especially young men, need to prepare themselves for marriage as early as possible. For some, that means they’ll be ready when they hit college or the workforce. Others have some growing to do, maybe some demons to conquer, or some tasks or achievements God wants him to achieve. And finally some will have to wander in the desert for awhile until the fullness of God’s time has been revealed.

The tough thing for a Christian man, in my view, is how to remain chaste while building attraction in a woman. If a man wants to be attractive to a woman, he’s gotta have some swagger. All the well-meaning advice to men from those supporting the Chuch’s teaching just seems like so much rubbish.


  1. This is a huge issue--you've addressed it well. Often, we put too much guilt on young men before their married because of these natural urges, then they feel guilty, imperfect, and not confident.

    We should teach the principle of chastity, but not get too much into the stress of occasional solo masturbation. They key, I feel, is to focus more on other issues of self-control: getting up early to exercise, physical activity such as weightlifting or sports practice, etc.

    If we build self-control and confidence in other areas, we'll naturally be stronger in this area, without stressing about it and always feeling guilty.

  2. Thanks for coming by and commenting, Strong Man. It really is all about self-control and confidence, isn't it? That qualities are key to building attraction to, which is ultimately the way out of this problem.